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  • Writer's pictureFeathers the Wonder Dog

I applied to join the Boy's Club

Dear Friends – It is with great interest that I’ve watched the very recent kerfuffle surrounding the member’s vote to admit women (after 183 years) to that bastion of maleness, Sydney’s very own The Australian Club.

While there are several private clubs in Sydney (and many others around Australia) – including some with women-only members – Sydney’s The Australian Club with 800 members is considered by many to be one of the most prestigious and wealthy.

Similar private clubs also operate in Tasmania and I recently stumbled across one such club that has very strict entry requirements and I hope that my recent application to the exclusive gender-based, Sandfly Roosters Club will be successful.

But why would I, a well-bred and egalitarian Kelpie, want to join such an institution? Well you just need consider the attractions and benefits that private clubs can offer.

A SOCIAL NETWORK: while I enjoy many friendships with fellow canines (and even a few felines), I feel that Klady and I would benefit from geographically expanding our friendship group further from the beaches and water at World’s End. While great friendships have been made here, I have recently noted that many of Klady’s friends are heading north to avoid the six or so months of Tasmanian winter. Joining a local club like the Sandfly Roosters would offer us the opportunity to meet fellow members who have a mutual interest in outdoor pursuits.

FINE DINING AND SOCIALISING FACILITIES: the private clubs all claim to provide fine dining and welcoming bars where members and their friends can meet. This certainly appeals to me as I just adore my food. In my application form to the Sandfly Roosters, I noted their sensitivity to an individual’s diet because they asked the following question:

In order to cater to individual member’s dietary needs please indicate your preferred meals?

1. Vegetarian

2. Gluten free

3. Seafood

4. Red meat

5. Chicken

I ticked every box except for gluten free and double underlined chicken (poached chicken breast is my absolute favourite).

ACCOMMODATION: All these private clubs offer overnight accommodation at rates that are very competitive with nearby hotels. I understand that the Sandfly Roosters have high-rise bedrooms that also come with water and river views – just beautiful!

A CALM AND REFINED ENVIRONMENT: Sydney’s The Australian Club, boasts an extensive quality art collection including Streetons, Olsens, Dobells and Whiteleys which adorn its public spaces. The Roosters Sandfly Club, or so I’ve heard, has taken a different path, with Tasmanian street art adorning both its public spaces and accommodation facilities.

The final attraction of private clubs that is appealing to me, is the opportunity for developing A HEALTHIER BODY with many offering their members a private gym; excellent change facilities; a swimming pool and sauna and the services of personal trainers.

The Sandfly Roosters provides outdoor swimming in the adjacent river as well as an excellent athletic track well suited to sprinting and hurdles.

Now that’s something that I would like – agility training!

After several anxious weeks of waiting for the decision about my membership application it finally arrived. Below is their response.

Dear Feathers the Wonder Dog,

Thank you for your recent application to join The Sandfly Roosters Club.

We wish to inform you that after careful consideration your application was unsuccessful.

However, we are pleased that you have noticed our exercise regime on the four-lane highway at the Sandfly Bridge and accompanying roadworks. To date none of our 30 or so members have been lost under the wheels of oncoming vehicles during the daily exercise challenge; running fast and leaping across the road to get to the other side. In addition we regularly take invigorating dips in North West Bay Rivulet which runs under our bridge.

Our accommodation is not suited to dogs. We roost (being actual roosters) on the graffitied under-structures of the Sandfly Bridge in order to avoid nocturnal attacks by marauding quolls and Tasmanian Devils.

Finally as roosters, we only admit homeless male poultry and definitely will never consider a canine whose favourite food is poached chicken breast.

With kind regards and a cock-a-doodle-do

Bruce the Brahma Rooster

Club President for Life

The Sandfly Roosters Club for Male Chooks

Note from Feathers: Now I know why the chicken crossed the road!

PS: Sandfly is a tiny community located on the Huon Highway between Hobart and World’s End. It has a major intersection linking Hobart, the valleys and the Channel coast and is the major access to Tassie’s Far South.

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